To begin with, the pads are intended to hold their shape (and sound) for as long as possible. Do nothing to accelerate the "brake in" or increase their compliance. It will happen anyway eventually and gradually but the point is to preserve their properties. When they become soft and loose their initial depth it's time for replacement. The sound however will not be very different.
To restore the metallic grill you will have to remove it and press the indented point of the grill from inside with your thumb. See in youtube how to open an HD-6## series unit. It is very easy and it starts with removing the plastic yoke. You will also remove the lower semi-oval frame that looks like an extension of the yoke and accepts the cable in its middle point. It"ll be relatively easy.
I don't mean just the ear pads. It's the headband pad also. All the pads are basically like I have rocks on my head. I really think Sennheiser should have changed their pad design and materials to a much more comfortable option. I'm sure they could have figured out how to do that without altering the sound signature of the headphone. I remembered I had a Dekoni headband pad for the HD6 series so I swapped to that and it works better.